Saturday, July 14, 2007

Re: Ice Bowl

A lot of discussion has gone on lately with regard to the possibility of an outdoor game this upcoming season, most of it focusing a lot of negative attention on the league. First of all it sucks that the Wings don't play the Pens this season, because anyone could tell you the best possible match-up would be of the Wings and Pens. The being said Buffalo is in the mix, probably because they are the American team with the most dependably cold weather, i.e., no risk of a thaw. While it gets plenty cold in Detroit, our weather is pretty wonky, so, there is that.

This having been said, though, I'm surprised by the discussion of the possible venue for a hypothetical outdoor Wings game. Football fields are the optimal choice, but obviously Ford Field is a no-go since it's not outdoors. Comerica Park? Too small, and also, is it even shaped right? I mean, would that work? The lack of a viable downtown venue might be the reason that Kenny H says the Wings are for the moment not interested in playing an outdoors game. Someone recently suggested (I believe I saw it at Snapshots) that the Wings do it at Spartan Stadium, where the MSU-UM Ice Bowl was held. This notion is ridiculous. It should be in Ann Arbor.

Now wait a minute. I go to MSU. I'm about to be an MSU alumnus. And as such I have a healthy dislike, nay, hatred for UM. Like my fellow students, I despise everything that pretentious university stands for. Like any good Spartan, I would delight to see Ann Arbor and environs burn to the ground, and every smart-ass, elitist student there die in that horrible conflagration*.

But I'm man enough to say that if the Wings host an outdoor game, the ONLY logical option for a venue is the Large Place. Or, Big Thing. The House that... some guy built. Think about it: the League's most iconic (in America) and successful team taking on the League's most iconic and successful player, all in possibly the WORLD's most iconic and celebrated sports venue? And reasonably close to the Detroit area? Are you crazy? That place can fit nearly 110,000 sniveling, self-important, blowhard fans of an underperforming football team, does any other location make sense if you want to cram as many die-hard hockey fans in to see a great game?

And as for a date, I would pick the Saturday Night of the weekend preceding the Super Bowl. There is basically nothing going on that weekend. Or I guess you could do it the Saturday night OF the Super Bowl, in a sort of coattails-grabbing kind of thing, I mean I don't know if that would even work or not, but it's sort of like, you know in NASCAR when you drive behind the guy, and then you go real fast because you're behind him, and... I don't what I'm trying to say here, I don't fucking watch NASCAR. All I know is what Ricky Bobby and Maggy tell me from Talladega Nights and Herbie: Fully Loaded.

*-Obviously, I'm kidding here. I know plenty of people at UM, including friends, a brother, his girlfriend, at least one Red Wings blogger... actually, no, I'm not kidding at all. They're all collateral damage.