Friday, May 23, 2008

Yeah, I Suck.

What if the Red Wings blogging community were the Red Wings team? I know I'd start with the Chief at A2Y, he would undoubtedly wear the C. I can't compare him to The Captain, of course, that would be sacrilege (see blog title.) I would compare him most to Shanahan - productive as hell, a vocal leader, willing to mix it up with the opponent (perhaps on the current incarnation he compares best to Drake or Homer). I know I would not want to throw hands with the guy. Christy (A) at BTJ could be Datsyuk or Zetterberg - her work gets national attention, and is probably the star blogger of the Wings' community. Her prose is magnificent, and her fanship undoubtable. Matt Saler (A) over at On The Wings is clearly the Nick Lidstrom; more quiet, unassuming, but his body of work is unfathomably huge. He logs more words than anyone, and his game is an intelligent, analytical one. Doesn't take time off, and is brutally thorough. Dave at Gorilla Crouch? I'll go with Niklas Kronwall, he, like St. Nick, is intelligent, reads the game well, and provides analysis. Has more bite to his game though, and will crush you from time to time. And, much as Kronner has struggled with injuries, Dave has lost time to unfortunate afflictions like being a U of M and Lions fan. There are other bloggers and plenty of passionate commenters to round out the team who I don't have time to mention.

Me? I'm doing my best Robert Lang impresison. Productive at times, occasional hot streaks, but cold all too often, and a total disappearing act in the playoffs. Actually, even Bobbo had that critical goal in the SJ series that kept our ill-fated season alive. I'm like Don Cherry's racist stereotype of Europeans (God I can't wait until we win and rub it in every Canadian good ol' boy's face. Just getting to the SCF should be enough to debunk this ridiculous myth, but we know it won't be). I'm like the regular season Jiri Hudler, or maybe the current Mikael Samuelsson. Yeah that's it. Mikael Samuelsson.

I haven't said much. After the Colorado series I gloated a bit, taunted Turco with the pic of Datsyuk destroying him. But now we're in the finals. It's time for me to grind it out. I gotta lace 'em up and get out there. It's go time. I haven't been able to stomach too much conversation. Seems like I've either been busy with school, or busy in the fetal position on the Hasek Club Car of A2Y's famed Stress Train (explanation here - #23). Let me tell you, when Dallas won that second game, my world was utter darkness. I briefly considering becoming emo. Then, Kris Draper banked one in off his face and my world was joy again.

Partially, I've overwhelmed. Especially now in the finals, so much is being said about every little thing that it's hard to say something original. Well, I sure will try. My fanhood is on the line. What the hell kind of blogger doesn't talk about his own team when they're in the SCF!? A shitty one, that's what kind. So let's get to work. I'll have a post more about the Red Wings and less about me tonight, but I'll start with this:

-Franzen out for Game 1. Yes, this sucks, to have him out for this game. I'm more worried about how good he'll be when he gets back. The best thing about Franzen was how frigging hot he was. I guess we'll find out if he was actually that hot, or just that fucking good. The other thing I'm worried about is his long-term health. Much as I worry more about the future than the present every time Hank's back acts up, a long string of serious headaches with no reasonable explanation is just not good news. Color me concerned.

-Kris Draper's body is a wonderland. His face is the ugliest, most scarred, mashed, beaten face I have ever seen, and it is absolute beauty. After Game 2, in which he tangled with Ott and Ribeiro late in the game, CBC interviewed him. His normally messed up face was even worse, cut, bruised, red, and his right was bloody. Not his eyebrow, mind you, his actually eyeball was red with blood. To this, he adds losing three teeth and taken stitches on his chin when he HEADS a goal in. It is absolutely unsurprising that quite possibly the least offensively creative player on the team (in the league?) would score the ugliest goal in the playoffs. And by ugliest I mean most beautiful. Despite what I may say in later years, when the cap gets tight, I hope Kris Draper never leaves the Wings.

-Speaking of the cap - it's the silliest thing to talk about during the Cup finals, when no acquisitions can be made and there is in fact no Cap on player salaries. But it's definitely my favorite point of discussion; I started this blog the day after the Wings lost, mostly because I wanted to spend the summer chatting about the Wings' cap situation and its effect on their potential acquisitions. Even if the Wings were bound to lose every one of their star players, it wouldn't really diminish the joy of hoisting a Cup - one must live in the day, after all. But even so, it's there, in the back of my mind. I'll try to hold off talking about it until after the parade, but no promises.

More thoughts about the Pens and Wings tonight. In the meantime, the usual suspects mentioned above and on the blogroll are brimming with great reading.